


Last May 4th

by scaramona



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Borderline Personality Disorder, Character Death, Death, Depressed Orihara Izaya, Dollars (Durarara!!), Heavy Angst, Heavy Drinking, Hurt Orihara Izaya, I'm Bad At Tagging, Multi, My First Fanfic, References to Depression, Regret, Self-Harm, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, デュラララ!!×２ 承 | Durarara!!x2 Shou
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26681329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scaramona/pseuds/scaramona
Summary: Today was the day Orihara Izaya was born, and the day of his final breath.
Relationships: Hachimenroppi/Orihara Izaya, Heiwajima Shizuo & Orihara Izaya, Heiwajima Shizuo & Orihara Mairu, Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Heiwajima Shizuo/Tanaka Tom/Vorona, Kida Masaomi/Orihara Izaya, Kishitani Shinra & Orihara Izaya, Kishitani Shinra/Orihara Izaya, Orihara Izaya & Orihara Kururi & Orihara Mairu, Orihara Izaya & Ryuugamine Mikado, Orihara Izaya & Yagiri Namie, Orihara Izaya/Orihara Kururi/Orihara Mairu, Orihara Izaya/Ryuugamine Mikado, Orihara Izaya/Yagiri Namie
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	Last May 4th

**Author's Note:**

> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING!! S/ICIDE, DR/NKING, S/LF H/RM!! — This is my second writing piece on this website, and my first writing piece for Durarara! Sorry if majority of it is wonky, I'm still learning. I'm also new to the formatting on this website, so I'm sorry if its not the best formatting.

Today was May 4th.

The day the infamous information broker, Orihara Izaya was born.

The day the infamous information broker, Orihara Izaya died.

* * *

The sun burned through the windows in the apartment that belonged to Orihara Izaya. His eyes slowly fluttered open; to see a sight of bloody tissues, and empty bottles, and dry blood stains on his desk. He tried to recollect the events prior to last night.

After a bit of thinking he smirked and laughed - only to choke on his spit right after.

“Ah yes. How could I ever forget to what lead me to spiral and lose my cool? My lovely humans never fail to amaze me!”

Izaya realized his desktop was still on. “ _I was researching a group for Shiki and gave up, huh?“_ He thought. Izaya managed to surprise himself for how _off_ he was acting.

It didn’t matter, because today was a special day. The day **God** was born. The day all humans should praise him, gift him, amaze him, surprise him, _you name it!_

Out of impulse, Izaya decided to see if he had any unread emails from the twins, or Shinra to wish him a happy birthday. With a sad smile, he hadn't received anything really, besides emails from angry customers.

Izaya quickly got up from his chair and stretched his arms only to hiss at a burning sensation on both of his wrists. He didn't want to think about it, he was ashamed. _I'll just patch it up with some bandages I got from Shinra, no big deal._

After quickly patching up, he decided to go through the bathroom to freshen up. He can't look like shit on his own day after all. Izaya frowned at the bruises on his body when taking off his shirt filled with stains of alcohol and dry blood.

 _Shiki's goons gave them to him. Izaya sold some of Awakasu-kai's information and Shiki was **pissed**. The other bruises- well, obviously from that damn protozoan and some gangs in the alleyway on his way home to Shinjuku. _Izaya stopped reminiscing the events of yesterday and focused on today. 

He quickly got a new shirt- a black shirt, he didn't want to wear anything too fancy or something that stands out too much, 

_Because he already stands out._ And he's half grateful for that. It means his humans acknowledge him. But it means how easily of a target he is to his enemies. 

He didn't mind, as long as his beloved humans know who he is and have time to mess with him. That's what makes it so fun after all. It makes him feel like they care about him, but Izaya would be lying to himself if he thought they cared about him.

_Does humanity even love him like how he loves them?_

Izaya cursed himself mentally for thinking about stupid things that didn't matter again. _Of course his humans loved him. Why wouldn't they?  
_

_Izaya is their **God** , their **savior** , their **everything**._

Being satisfied with those thoughts in his brain, Izaya hummed happily and made way to his messy desk. Thank god Namie wasn't here, she would've definitely done some damage to his pride.

Izaya quickly cleaned the empty bottles and tissues that stained with dry blood. After cleaning up, Izaya quickly threw on his iconic fur jacket and walked to Ikebukuro.

He smiled happily walking on the streets. Now, _how will he celebrate his birthday?_

"Hm.. ahahah! So many things to do! I have so much plans but I know I don't have time for all of them, how sad!"

...

"Ah, why not do my favorite thing in the world, besides annoying the protozoan, _observing my beloved humans!_ " Izaya hummed again after being satisfied with the thought of observing his humans on God's day.

He quickly arrived at Sunshine 60 and made way to the rooftop. The view in here was really amazing. It felt peaceful. The cool breeze washing the ravens hair, the jacket along. It felt so nice to break character for once.

But the nagging feeling earlier when he was home came back. His heart ached.

 _"Are you sure you're a God?"_ Izaya was startled. _Who was that?_ It was his own voice but.. it wasn't an inner thought. It was like- _It was behind him._ Izaya immediately looked behind him and was startled.

Was his mind playing games with him? It was him, but different. The Izaya behind him had the same appearance, but his fur jacket was red, with a red shirt, and slightly longer hair. He- no. _It. was smirking._

"Ah, how rude of me!~ I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Hachimenroppi. You can call me Roppi for short~" 

"Wh- What are you?" Is this a joke? Did Shinra administer some unknown drug into Izaya? Or maybe the side effects from drinking all that alcohol is still not gone maybe? Yeah, that sounds more reasonable. There's no other explanation for this lookalike of me who has a different alias.

He just wanted to enjoy his own day, is that too much to ask for now? Roppi and Izaya shared the silence, one smirking, one with a small frown.

"You haven't answered my question y'know~ I'll ask again. _Are you really a God?"_ Izaya clenched his teeth, but kept his cool. "Why _of course!_ I am their God. I love all my humans very mu-"

"But do they love you back? Even one of those prudent creatures? Has anyone ever said "I love you so much!" to you? You claim to love humanity and yet- they don't even love you back! Not one of them! It's so funny! You'd think with that type of affection someone would love you back- but nope!"

Izaya didn't say anything, nails buried in his palms. _Where was he going at?_

He usually didn't mind what hurtful words his beloved humans said to him but- for some reason, this lookalike was shattering his fragile heart. Izaya trying to hard to keep his composure, but _he had a point._

Izaya tried to let out some sort of cocky sentence, but it was stopped.

He remembered the events prior to yesterday.

\----------------------------------------------

_"You're a fucking monster Izaya"_

_Izaya pretended Masaomi's words didn't hurt him._

_"We don't care about you, Iza-nii!"_

_Izaya brushed off the twins' words and pretended it didn't hurt him._

_"You're sick. Seriously, who would love you?"_

_Izaya played it off cool and tried to not be hurt by Namie's words._

_"Kida was right about you, you really are a monster."_

_Izaya laughed at Mikado's words._

_"I don't really care about you, I just need Celty and I'm fine!"_

_Izaya was not surprised, but Shinra's words stung._

_"Ikebukuro would be more peaceful without you."_

_Izaya just laughed at the words on Celty's PDA._

_"Fuckin' flea. Why do you even exist? **The world would be better without you.** "_

...

Tears slowly made its way to the corner of Izaya's eyes. He let out a sad chuckle. It's disgusting to see himself let these words get to him. He heard these words all his life from his parents, and friends, so why is it now that it's starting to affect him? Why is it so hard to put on a facade now? Why did he turn to alcohol and self harm? Why? 

Before Izaya could continue his thought process, Roppi interrupted it.

"Well? Did you have a nice trip back down to memory lane?"

Izaya couldn't say anything. His breath was caught in his throat. He didn't know how to respond to this. _Was this even real?_ Just how high was Izaya right now to be believing such bullshit, especially from a stupid lookalike?

"Really. Izaya, you know they're right. About you being a monster and everything, no~?"

"Tch." Izaya's grip on his fists tightened, nails digging deep till blood started to seep out slowly. "What the fuck are you and what the hell do you want from me? Can't I fucking enjoy my own day? The day of a God?"

"Ne ne~ You're still on about the whole 'I'm a God' bullshit!" Roppi moved close and closer till Izaya was inches away on the ledge of the roof.

"You're a monster. Someone unworthy of love. And kindness. No one loves you. But of course- you've known that for years upon years now! You put on a shitshow of a facade and it's finally cracking. That mask is finally cracking. Don't waste so much of people's energy; making them remind you of how much of a fucking mistake you are. What a lowlife _flea_ you are. And especially, don't waste _your_ energy putting on a mask for your own pride. You should just die right here and right now, don't you think?~ It'll b-"

" _SHUT UP"_

"Please. Please shut up. I know. I already fucking know how much of my beloved humans hate me. I know how fucking fragile I am. I know I'm a monster, I know all right? Don't fucking tell me things I don't already fucking know.

Roppi chuckled, _"It was so easy to break humans. Even the tough Orihara Izaya."_

Roppi let a little cough out. "Well, I don't really have time for your pity party, so tell me. Can I end your pathetic life now? The world needs peace and change after all. The greater the good."

Before Roppi could utter another word, Izaya graceful let out his hands and made himself lose his balance. He looked to only see _Roppi was gone._ It was the doing of his late nights and alcohol after all huh?

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was Orihara Izayas birthday. Celty, Shinra, Erika, Walker, Kadota, Saburo, Mairu, Kururi, and surprisingly- Shizuo and Namie were going to celebrate. Well, Namie was in Shinras apartment because Seiji was there. She didn't feel like buying Izaya nothing _too_ expensive, so she bought him a card. The van crew, and Shinra and Celty were going to surprise Izaya when he came in the apartment. Shizuo, Mairu and Kururi were out to buy majority of the supplies for the gifts. Izaya didn't like sweets, so they got him his favorite- ootaroo. 

Shizuo was picking the twins up from school early to help the surprise party for the flea's birthday. Believe it or not, Shizuo got him the sushi. As much as he hated the flea, it'd be nice to celebrate something for once and a while. The twins were talking about Kasuka and other girly stuff. Shizu made the twins carry the sushi, but they didn't complain.

They were walking till they spotted something- no, _someone_ falling. Unfortunately, by the time they made out who the person was, it was too late.

\-----------------------

Izaya was falling, having his life flash before his eyes. It was nothing too special. He'll miss his humans even if they didn't love him back. He felt himself plopping much faster and making sight that he almost reached the ground. It was too much to comprehend, he was going down so fast.

Izaya saw. 2 identical twins behind a fake blonde in a bartender uniform. With sushi, boxing decorated. 

" _FLEA!"_

_"IZA-NII!"_

But it was too late. 

The bartender dashed to the falling body, stretching out his hand, the fur coated sleeve reached out.

Shizuo grabbed his fingers while the rest of the body made contact with the smooth concrete.

Red crimson blood decorated the ground, also decorating the bartenders shirt.

The twins screamed, dropping the gift, they started crying and shaking the limp body of Orihara Izaya.

The body that used to belong to Orihara Izaya had a small smile, with minimal tears running down, and a fountain of blood.

_"I'm sorry."_

**Author's Note:**

> This hurt a lot to write. Poor Shizuo :( and the twins too..  
> Criticism is highly appreciated :)


End file.
